The Blurgh

Hey everyone! You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting lately. The truth is, I really love this blog and I haven’t been able to devote the attention to it that it deserves. Between working with the ever-expanding Pittsburgh Women’s Foundation and working on my book and taking part in my writing group and everything else that just seems to crop up when I’m not looking, I have just been too busy to really put any meaningful time into the Blurgh. So, I’m taking an indefinite hiatus. (Please don’t cry, really. It’ll all be okay!) I have really loved blogging here and wish everyone who has made this such a great community the very best. Seriously. Yinz are the best.

Feminist love,

Gretch

Yesterday I did something that a few months ago would have seemed inconceivable–I got up at 7 am, printed out a slew of resumes, put on my one and only suit, and went to the job fair at the union.

At first, I was overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.  Pretty much every meeting room on the 1st floor of the union was being used, and the rooms were practically busting at the seams with booths.  When you added the throngs of students that were there, the environment seemed like a hybrid between a convention and a street fair.

As I made the rounds, though, I started to get a bit discouraged.  There were a lot of interesting companies, but nothing really jumped out at me.  I talked to some people, got half a million pens and other goodies, but felt a little empty.  Around 11, I took a break and grabbed a seat in the lobby.

Since the job fair was being held in multiple rooms, each room had some sort of theme tying it together.  I first went into the psychology-related room, since, you know, I’m a psychology major and all, but all the employers in there were offering research or lab assistant type jobs that people look into when they’re interested in grad school.  Then I decided to look at the non-profit room, and although the booths there interested me more, I couldn’t find anything that seemed like a good fit.  It’s never good when your first impression of a job is that you could probably do it for 2 years but then be desperate to move on.

As I was sitting in the lobby, I took out the room guide and tried to figure out where I’d go next.  I knew the “Physical and Natural Sciences” room wouldn’t have anything for me, and although the “Public Service” room may have been interesting, I knew I wasn’t cut out for government work.  The last room was labeled simply as “Business,” so I figured I might as well check it out, and if nothing else, I’d probably get some good freebies.

When I went in, I quickly realized that what “Business” really meant was “stuff we don’t know how to categorize.”  There were your typical business booths (finance, marketing, retailers, etc.), but there were also a bunch of booths that seemed to span multiple categories.  One of those booths, I was pleased to see, was CRR.

I recognized the two people there as people who work in the outreach department, and they recognized me as well.  When they saw me, though, they gave me a weird look, and when I came over, they both asked, “What the hell are you doing here?”  Somewhat taken aback, I simply replied, “Uhhh, looking for a job…”

Well, as I found out, my manager had apparently asked all the CRR interns to become full-time employees after graduation, but it happened to be last Friday when I had to call off to take a test.  I hadn’t been scheduled to go back until tomorrow, so he was going to talk to me then.

I was stunned, but I couldn’t help but have a smile on my face for the rest of the day.  My manager called later in the day yesterday and officially offered me a job, and I enthusiastically accepted.  My internship has been awesome, and the work that CRR does interests me in so many ways.  So, come Monday May 1st, I will officially join the workforce!

Now I just have to make sure I get that graduation thing out of the way…finals are next week.

Have you ever gotten a very powerful feeling that you’re about to enter a new phase in your life?  That you’re standing on the edge of an unexplored and unfamiliar territory (at least to you), and you know that the only way to go is head-first into it?  It’s kind of like the slow-climb up the first hill of a rollercoaster–you’re scared, excited, but most of all, waiting.

Last night that feeling hit me like a subway car.  Gretchen and I were out on the North Shore taking a stroll up and down the river, and I caught a glimpse of a perfect scene–the sun was setting, the river was glittering, and the buildings downtown oozed grandeur.  We both sat on a bench and stared for a while, silently.

It wasn’t the first time I felt like that.  The night before my last day of high school definitely qualifies, and I think I remember regularly feeling that way at the end of every summer vacation.  This time’s different, though.  I knew what was coming all of those other times; I had already been accepted to college, and I knew school would start again after vacation.  This time I don’t really know…as we were sitting on the bench, I let out an unconscious shiver, and Gretchen put her arm around my shoulder.

I do have one comforting thought, though–there are a lot of options out there.  It might take me a couple tries to find what I realy want to do, but that’s life.  I know I want to do something good for people and the world…the trick is just translating that into a paid profession!

It’s April, i.e. the last month of my life that I’ll be an undergrad.

This brings many interesting thoughts to mind, including:

• Holy crap!
• So after I graduate…then what?
• No more health insurance?
• No more free gym?
• No more papers!!!!!
• A job? Like…a real job?
• Holy crap…

There’s a job fair going on next week–I already told a couple people that I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t feel like getting up at 9 am. For some reason, that doesn’t seem like a very good excuse anymore.

Do you ever feel like you’re in such a rut that you want to step out of your body and yell at yourself?

Gretch and I had one of those weekends where we had very ambitious and interesting plans (go see the new stuff at the museum, jam out with friends at 1 am in the South Side, solve the world’s hunger problem, etc.), but ended up spending a lot of time on the couch watching re-runs. Our living room became an energy, creativity, and ultimately time vacuum, and we were helpless to do anything about it.

Why is it so hard to try new things? And why does it always seem like everyone else in the world has no problem at all with it?

Last night, after thoroughly exclaiming how much we suck, we decided that the only way to defeat our living room is to attack it head on. Instead of making it the most inviting room, and our office the least, we’re going to spend tonight rearranging. The couch, TV, and other comfy accouterments are going into the cold and loud (thanks to our upstairs neighbor) front room, and our desks and craft equipment is going into the former time vortex. Then, instead of automatically plopping on the couch and vegging when we get home, we’ll look around and see all the interesting stuff we can occupy ourselves with.

I’ve also been a big believer that craftiness and creativity loves company, so if anyone out there wants to get together and get the creative juices flowing (or maybe break out of your comfort zone a little by meeting new people), hit us up!

Contact Us Page

Last week, Gretch and I went over to sunny San Diego for a few days.  It was a nice trip–I have family out there, so it was nice to see them, and although Pittsburgh rocks my socks, it’s hard to beat San Diego weather.

Gretch and I went out one night with one of my cousins who lives out there, and we got a huge shock.  The place she was taking us to was in one of the edgy hip neighborhoods, and as we were driving (because everyone drives everywhere out there), I saw a sign on a bar that said “Wednesday night–Pittsburgh Style Karaoke!”

As you can imagine, Gretch and I demanded that we stop the car instantly.  I mean, what the hell is “Pittsburgh Style Karaoke?” Having lived in Pittsburgh all my life, I never realized it, but apparently karaoke in Pittsburgh is very different than karaoke in other cities.  And by that, I mean that in most other places it sucks real bad.  We went in the bar, and it was decked out in Steelers stuff, there were pictures of downtown, and it reminded me very much of a local dive you’d see in the South Side or something.

So, having settled on a place, we got ourselves a table and belted out some tunes.  I’m still not sure exactly what “Pittsburgh Style” means, but I do know that the place was cozy, cheap, and the patrons would cheer just as loud (if not louder) for the bad singers as they did for the stars.  Very Pittsburgh indeed.

Gretch and I are doing something we never ever do–have fun over spring break!  Usually, mine is spent catching up on work that I didn’t do during the beginning of the semester, but hell, it’s my last one, so I might as well make it memorable.

Gretch also has some vacation time saved up (thinking about having to save vacation time kind of blows my mind, but I guess it won’t when I get into the real world!), so we’re going to San Diego to visit some family and friends.

See you next week!

So there I am, hanging out at my favorite little café after work, waiting for Andi to show up so she can tell me all about her law school classmates’ drama and I can tell her the cute things my girls did today. I’m leafing though this magazine we got at the office this week and totally loving it. It’s called Femiyinz – awkward name, but awesome mag. It’s a new publication (this is the first issue ever) and it was started by three English/women’s studies majors at Chatham to highlight feminist issues with a bit of local flavor.

The barista walks by my table on her way back behind the counter, arms full of plates and coffee cups. She stops, backtracks a few steps, and stands right next to me. I look up to see her smiling broadly.

“You’re reading Femiyinz!” she cries. “My friends are going to be so psyched. They started that magazine. How did you get it?!”

I tell her about the PWF and how everyone was really impressed with it. She asks me what my favorite articles have been.

“I loved the piece about unions offering free childcare to mothers who are working to get off welfare and learn some trades,” I replied. “And the profile of the new president at the zoo was really cool.”

We talked for about twenty more minutes, long enough for Andi to come and join the conversation. It’s so cool having all these little outlets for feminism in Pittsburgh – from what my mom tells me, it was not exactly a feminist haven when she was my age. And how much do I love just randomly running into people who have a hand in all the cool stuff that’s going on around town?!

Last night, at about 8:30, I finished the first draft of the first third of the book project I’m working on right now. I felt happily exhausted, pleased with what the characters had done in these first several chapters, and excited that I would now be moving even deeper into the story and what I want to say. Shutting down my computer, I walked away from the desk feeling complete.

For about three hours.

At 11:30, I was lying in bed next to the soundly sleeping Frank obsessing about my project. Should I change the main character’s name? It’s kind of trendy and her parents are very old-fashioned people – it doesn’t make sense that they’d give her that name. And the explanation I’d given for it, in chapter two, was pretty clunky. No way would it ever work. But is she too much ingrained in my mind with the name that it would be suicide to change it now? Or am I still early enough in the draft that I can change it?

From there it just got worse. Do I need to include more scenes and, by extension, characters to show the protagonist’s evolution into a more assertive, true-to-herself individual? Is the secondary storyline with her best friend enough to carry it through the entire book, or is it a complete dud? Will readers identify with the story? Will it help them realize something about themselves?

I realized that lying in bed and being consumed by these questions was getting me nowhere. So I did what a writer would do: I dragged myself out of bed and pounded out these questions, my thoughts, crazy ideas, anything I could think of that might help me see myself through this story. It helped, it really did. I have a clearer vision of what I want to accomplish in this book, and even though I’m still not exactly sure how I’m going to get there, I’m a little bit further on my way.

I ended up crawling back into bed at 2:45. Good thing I didn’t have to work today.

Gretch and I were conspicuously absent from posting last week because my cousin Andrew, who had been living in DC, has moved to Pittsburgh.  He graduated from American University the year before and had been working as a temp, but then he got a great finance job in Pittsburgh and he decided to make the move.  Being the good family members that we are, we offered to help with the move in any way we could.  Little did we know what we were getting into…

Moving to a different state amplifies the suckiness of moving by at least ten, but when moving from a DISTRICT, or, as my cousin likes to say, an occupied territory, it reaches a new level altogether.  Example 1: did you know that you’re not allowed to drive a moving truck within a mile of the white house?  We didn’t, but the Secret Service was well aware.

Gretch and I have moved several times in Pittsburgh, and we know a couple truck rental places that have always treated us well, so we offered to rent the truck up here so that it would count as an in-town rental.  My cousin decided against it because he’s getting reimbursed and wants it to be in his name, so Gretch and I borrowed my parents’ van and drove down.  We arrived last Saturday night, and went to bed as early as we could so that we’d be at least a bit rested for what we knew would be a crappy day.

We all woke up early and went to pick up the truck.  Two hours later, we were still waiting at the truck place because they had lost his reservation.  Even though we got there when they first opened, they were out of the trucks he had originally reserved, so he could either take a smaller one or one that could have fit three of his apartments into.  By the time we got back to his apartment in a frighteningly small truck, it was 11 AM, and we needed to haul ass loading the truck if we had any chance of getting to Pittsburgh before dark.  Andrew had a couple friends over to help, but he was on the 7th floor of one of the ubiquitous cookie-cutter apartment buildings in DC, and we spent half the time just waiting for the freight elevator.  It was a good thing we brought my parents’ van, because by the time we were done it was stuffed to the brim and there was a mattress strapped to the roof.

By 3 o’clock, we were finally on the road, but on our way out of town we got lost and ended up on Pennsylvania Avenue about a block from the White House.  After discussing our national origins and purpose in life with the Secret Service for an hour, we finally got out of the District and on the way back home.  We arrived in Pittsburgh at 9 PM.

Thank god unloading a truck takes about a quarter of the time that loading does, but still, it was one loooooong day.  The rest of the week we’ve been showing Andrew around town and helping him get unpacked, along with working and schoolwork.  It’s been nice, but utterly exhausting, and it’s great to have more family back in Pittsburgh!